Tuesday, 26 March 2013

Beans

Beans Moment (Energy)
WALT choose words that describe a moment for the reader
YOUR SIGNS OF SUCCESS

  • begin in the action
  • present tense (I am, not I was)
  • short, sharp sentences
  • uses the senses (smell, taste, look, hear, touch)
  • strong verbs



When I get to the car park I'm excited. I race out of the car and smelt fresh air rushing against me. It felt nice because the car was really hot in there. I ran  to the redwoods because it’s more adventures to walk on. My mum has to stop about two times each time we go up the peak. We are about half way and I think I can see the people hang gliding just at the tip of the peak. It must be really scary to do it and if it breaks I'm certain that you will die by breaking your legs and breaking your back. Then we get up to the dirty trail and I walk along it and we finally get to the top and my auntie was up there and my mum chatted to her for about 15 minutes so me and my dad went up the path to the very edge but not on the peak. 

There was a fence so you wouldn't stumble off the edge. Then we all walked even higher and I zoomed ahead there was a cool but tough breeze and mum says ‘this is high enough so lets go down’. So it’s a long trip down to the car park and on the way we found some goats! We did not expect some ivory coloured goats just trotting along the lime grass. We try to pat the ivory coloured goats but a huge rush of wind pushes the goats further away from us so we couldn't pat them. Then we finally got to the car and We were exhausted. Then on the way my dad said ‘you can have some biscuits from the boot if you want.’ So I leaned against the seat.  I touched the end of the bag and pulled it and I got some and the rest of the way home was joyous.       

No comments:

Post a Comment

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...